I shared a sort of impromptu message with a group of about 75 teenagers this morning.  I thought I was going to be speaking to little children.  A few scheduling wires got crossed and I spoke to the middle and high school students instead.  Even better.

Here’s the gist of what I shared.  Of course there were little stories, illustrations, and anecdotes along the way.  But here’s the main thoughts.

1) God is the greatest promise maker of all time.

• b/c He makes BIG promises
• b/c He always keeps them

2) God’s greatest promise is Jesus.

• b/c He promised that He would fix everything
• b/c that promise has been fulfilled in Jesus

My aim was to bring out God’s faithfulness.  I told the students that when God makes a promise you can take it to the bank.  Hopefully it sank in and, by God’s grace, will be as seed sown on good soil.

There are certainly more reasons than this.  Given that these students were following a schedule and soon had to be in another class I had to keep my comments brief.  So help me out.

What are some other reasons that we should ‘love our enemies?’

Summertime can be a strange thing for teenagers.  Many go from school-year schedules that require smartphones to summertime one’s that leave them checking their pulse.  Clubs, teams, meetings, appointments—these sorts of things fill their year, but oftentimes even the busiest of students are left with nothing to do once the summer arrives.  Here are some tips for how teens can get the most out of their summers.

5 +’s and 5 -’s = 10 Helpful Tips for Teenagers in the Summertime

First, the +’s.  Let’s start things off on a positive note.  Here are five things you need to strive to be with whatever summer you’ve got left.

1. Productive
   For goodness’ sake, find your lazy self something to do!
2. Mentor
   Find one for yourself.  Be one to somebody else.
3. Reader
   Find something you like and read about it.  Books, magazines, articles…whatever.  Just read.  It’s kind of like taking a shower for your brain…and trust me, you need one!
4. Holy
   Don’t waste away spiritually during the summer.  Start right away and establish a time and a place where you can read the Bible and pray every day.
5. Helpful
   Use the extra time you’ve got to do something positive.  Help out at church.  Help your neighbors with stuff.  Just help!

Now, here’s the -’s.  At all costs, resist the temptation to veg out all summer long, not doing anything but lounging around and learning how to be more comfortable with being lazy.  Instead, take my advice and steer clear from the following headings.

1. Screen Saver
   Like a computer that’s not being used, too many teenagers turn off their brains all summer long.  This is NOT GOOD!
2. Narcolepsy
   Sleep…ahhh.  We all love it, but ‘too much of a good thing is bad’ definitely rings true with teenagers, summertime, and excessive sleeping.  GET OUT OF BED!
3. Lazy
   Summertime does not mean you’re off the hook from having to do anything.  God didn’t create us to be lazy, so get off your butt and do something!
4. Selfish
   Many teenagers feel that they’ve somehow deserved the right to be lazy because they’ve made it to the summer.  Try telling that to your boss someday!
5. Fat
   When we lay around, encourage inactivity, and don’t do anything we become fat.  The same is true with our spiritual lives.  Don’t become spiritually fat over the summer.

There’s your 10 helpful tips on teenagers and summertime.  Any I forgot?  What advice would you give to young people during their summer months?

Happy Anniversary to the Luther’s!

Did you know that on this day in Christian history, June 13, 1525, the German reformer, Martin Luther, was married to former nun, Katherine von Bora?  It’s true, or so at least reports Christianity Today’s church history website.  The Luther’s had six children together and remained married for 21 years until Martin’s death in 1546.  If they were still alive, today would be their 484th anniversary.  Happy anniversary!

To commemorate this special occasion I’d like to offer up 5 lessons that I’ve learned about married life during my two full months as a husband.  Granted, two months is not a great deal of time, so I claim neither to be an authority on the subject nor that my thoughts are completely original.  Instead, I only hope to give you the assurance that these are simple observations from an honest man.  I hope you enjoy.

5 Lessons Learned in 2 Months of Marriage

Before you read the list of lessons learned, a few qualifications are in order.  First of all, this is not a list of things to use in order to get yourself out of trouble.  If you only do something nice for someone in order to get yourself out of trouble, or even if you’re doing it in order to prevent future trouble, it really takes something out of it.  In order to get the most bang for your buck out of this list you need to help create an atmosphere where the following five things take place as a part of the norm.  And no, acts of appeasement, sacrificial offerings, and all other sorts of “nice” things performed as acts of prevention do not count.

Secondly, this list only directly applies to the relationship I have with my wife.  It may not work for you with yours. All situations are different.  Case in point, some wives would love the treat of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich as a late night snack.  Others, however, might die from such a gesture due to peanut allergies or lactose intolerance. What’s important is that you know your wife well enough to discern what your list of 5 things should look like.  In order to be the real thing, every list needs to be tailor-made.

Thirdly, here’s the list of five lessons.  Because my list and explanations wound up being a bit long-winded, I fear that many of you wouldn’t take the time to read this entire post.  So for those of you who don’t want to read the whole thing, here’s the short version:

1. Wash the dishes some of the time and take out the trash all of the time.
2. Don’t watch a scary movie with your wife late at night…or perhaps ever.
3. There’s something special about a fresh bouquet of flowers.
4. Nobody’s perfect, so don’t expect or demand perfection.
5. Spend time in prayer together everyday.

Now for those of you who are really ready to learn, here’s the long version.  It’s the same list as above, but with commentary added.  So without further ado, and also without qualifying my points to death (which I’m prone to do), here are the five lessons I’ve learned in two months of marriage:

1. Wash the dishes some of the time and take out the trash all of the time.
   Washing the dishes is one of those things that no one wants to do, but everyone has to.  Lesson learned: a clean kitchen makes for a wife that feels loved by her husband.  Gentlemen, this is not a one night stand kind of chore.  Anyone can do dishes once, but can you keep the kitchen clean for a solid week?  Or month?  That’s something she’ll appreciate.
   
   Trash is gross.  Everybody knows it too.  It smells bad.  Sometimes it leaks.  Often it’s heavy and awkward too, especially if it the bag begins to rip or tear.  Gentlemen, our wives are precious.  If we can help it at all, let’s work hard to keep them from having to do gross stuff like taking out the trash.
2. Don’t watch a scary movie with your wife late at night…or perhaps ever.
   Last night we tried to watch the movie, The Mothman Prophecies, before we went to bed.  It was about 9:30pm when we put it in the DVD player.  BAD IDEA!  It wasn’t 15 minutes into the film and my wife was scared to death.  Granted, it’s a pretty spooky film in a very X-Files type of way.  So we turned off the movie.  Not only that, but to get the scariness off of her mind we had to watch something more light-hearted.  Enter Adam Sandler’s, The Waterboy.  Worked like a charm!
   
   Gentlemen, its our job to protect our wives.  Part of that protection involves psychological well-being.  Even if its something silly like being scared because of a movie, if our wives are genuinely scared, it’s up to us to calm their fears.  Safety, protection, welfare, peace—these are some of the greatest things in which we’ve been entrusted to provide for our wives.  We’re responsible to provided them with this on many different levels too. Emotional, financial, physical, spiritual, etc.  Let’s not take this responsibility lightly.
3. There’s something special about a fresh bouquet of flowers.
   My wife loves flowers.  Most girls do.  Her entire demeanor lifts whenever there’s a fresh bouquet in the room.  They don’t have to be expensive.  There doesn’t have to be a reason.  They just need to be flowers and they need to be pretty.  We can do this for them.  Once a week, twice a month, I don’t know what schedule you can afford. I do know that most Wal-Mart’s have flowers near one of their main entrances.  And they’re only like $10 for the nice ones. Case in point: next time you go to Wal-Mart buy your wife some flowers.
   
   Whether its flowers, makeup, clothes, or interior decorations, women like pretty stuff.  They like to be pretty.  They like buy pretty.  They like to be around things that are pretty.  Gentlemen, don’t neglect the prettiness of your wives.  Let them be pretty.  We could complain and say things like, “No, I don’t want our bedspread to have a bunch of flowers on it!”  But if our wives like it, and it’s pretty, we should be more understanding.  I’ve seen guys who nearly turn their own wives into men with the stubbornness they display in opposition to things that their wives think are pretty.  Guys, let your wives be pretty.
4. Nobody’s perfect, so don’t expect or demand perfection.
   You’ve heard said a million time before, I’m sure, “Nobody’s perfect.”  You’ve probably even said it yourself.  Do you practice what you preach, though.  Oftentimes the people we’re the least patient with are those with whom we spend the most of our time.  This sadly is the case within some marriages.  Remembering and accounting for the imperfections that exist on both sides of the marriage equation has been one of the greatest assets to the success of my marriage thus far.
   
   Gentlemen, whether we realize it or not, sometimes we expect absolute perfection out of our wives.  Whenever they do something we don’t like and we, in turn, get short with them, what we’re essentially saying is, “How dare you do something I don’t like?  I expect and demand that you be perfect.  If not, then I’m going to wine and pout about it until you do differently.”  Sometimes, it’ me that’s having a bad day and in a crummy mood.  Other times, however, it’s her.  What’s the worst is when it’s both of us at the same time.  It usually helps to remember the fallenness within which we both have equal shares.
5. Spend time in prayer together every day.
   As Christians, our faith is not placed within ourselves.  It is placed elsewhere—namely, with God in Christ.  The worst thing we could ever do, gentlemen, is to be hypocrites within our own homes.  We pray and teach and sing and encourage when we’re at church, but hardly ever do the same while we’re at home with our wives.
   
   Let me encourage you to spend time every day praying with your wife—and I don’t just mean right before you eat.  My wife and I pray together every night before we go to bed.  It’s a time when, as a family, we remind ourselves of what our lives are really about.  It’s a time when, as a couple, we remember that God is the most important priority.  It’s a time, gentlemen, when we show our wives what were really made of spiritually.  Don’t be a hypocrite.  Pray with your wife!

This list is obviously not exhaustive, but it is sincere.  I hope you enjoyed it.  Better yet, for you guys out there, I hope you take my example and run with it.  Make a similar list for your wife based on what you’ve observed within your own marriage.

Did I forget anything?  What should have made it on my list.  Somebody help a brother out.  Comments, please.

[HT: Tyler Stanton]

During what you know will be your very last month doing something that you’ve poured your life into for a long time you do a great deal of thinking.  Things that at one point in your ministry seemed super important don’t anymore.  Other things that are truly important—things about life and people and God and ministry—these things really begin to their true colors.  And, might I add, their colors are absolutely beautiful.  Here’s a few things I’ve learned:

1. Plan ahead.  Seriously.
2. Sometimes the holiest answer is a kind “No.”
3. There is no substitute for faithfulness.
4. Read the Bible and pray—repeat daily.
5. Be happy to be yourself.
6. People are more important than to-do lists.
7. Nothing is more important than God.

Okay, so I realize that’s only 7 lessons.  And I advertised 7 and a 1/2.  Here’s the last half of one.  I refer to it as a half of one because I didn’t really come up with it.  On top of that, I don’t know if I even thought about it at all during my last month as a youth pastor.  It’s just that it seems too poignant and painstakingly truthful now not to mention it.  So without further ado, here’s #7 1/2:

“Only one life, twill soon be past, only what’s done for Christ will last.” (C. T. Studd)

If your church has a person who works with young people, be they a paid staff member or a lay person, chances are they’re probably in need of some sort of encouragement.  As a former youth pastor, I feel pretty qualified to offer up some ways people have encouraged me in the past.  So here they are in no particular order: 10 relatively easy ways to encourage your youth worker.

1. Take them to lunch.
2. Shoot them an email.
3. Tell them that you’ve been praying for them.
4. Ask them a Bible question.
5. Share a way in which you’ve applied what they’ve been teaching.
6. Tell their pastor what a great job they’re doing.
7. Volunteer for something.
8. Read a good book and let them borrow it.
9. See if you can help bring food to the next youth function.
10. Let them know how much you’re rooting for the youth ministry.

Yes, these are all very simple, but trust me when I say that youth workers are in great neeed of encouragement often and that it doesn’t take much.  So get out there and show your youth workers some love!

Scott McNight, over at his Jesus Creed blog, asks a few good questions about family-based youth ministry.  Here are his questions (italics) and my answers (bold).

1. Is there a need for a youth pastor/worker in a family-based model? No, not really.  More like a youth (pastor)/facilitator.
2. What does discipleship/formation look like in a family-based model? Parents are the primary disciplers.  Church volunteers and/or youth (pastor)/facilitators are secondary and always point towards the significance of the family and their more basic role.
3. How do you go about this in cooperation with the other staff or workers in your church (for example, the children’s ministry) The entire church should be a family-based, not simply the youth ministry.
4. How does the ‘youngish’ in age youth pastor/worker even lead parents of teenagers toward such a model? (Of course, I am assuming that there is a need for a youth pastor/worker in such a model.) The assumption may be a poor one, then—that is, unless the role of the youth pastor was to change dramatically.  The ‘youngish’ youth pastor/worker will need to create a youth ministry environment that reveals both to the students and parents alike what I believe is the more biblically-consistent discipleship hierarchy: parents are to be the most basic and foundational part of the discipleship process.  To the extent that the family is absent in this process (assuming poor or nonexistent spiritual quality on their part) youth workers are to be that much more involved in the life of the student’s discipleship.
5. Does it work?  Do you have any ’success’ stories to share?  What defines success? Without a doubt, the most successful students I’ve ever pastored were the one’s with discipling, nurturing parents that were active in the church.
6. Where might I go to get some really good help on better understanding what family-based youth ministry is? I believe Voddie Bachuam has some good stuff out on or related to this (voddiebaucham.org).
7. How do the youth in your faith community feel about family-based youth ministry? They just want to be loved.  And, if they are, they feel fine.

Related Resources:

• Youthministry.com published an article I wrote on a similar topic a few months ago.  Read the article here.
• In my answers above I mentioned Voddie Baucham as a resource for information on family-based youth ministry.  Voddie’s got a book on the subject, Family-Driven Faith.  Voddie has also preached a sermon on the topic, “The Centrality of the Home.”  That sermon audio is available directly below.

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It’s funny how much we strive to belong?  Haven’t you ever find yourself doing what others do simply for the purpose of not looking like what you think others might think is an idiot?  I do.  Hah, Check this out.

[HT: Brian Eberly <-- Adam McClane]

Mike Yaconelli.  Gotta love this guy.

His book, Messy Spirituality, wasn’t so bad either.

Okay, not really.  I’m sure he’s only referring to whatever anyone does in general.  But it sounds like a motivational speech for youth pastors.  

So here’s Steve Jobs, admittedly taken way out of context, describing youth ministry.

Thanks to Tim Schmoyer and Life in Student Ministry for this one.