DISCLAIMER #1 — I am not currently in the doghouse.  If ever I have been, you must know that I probably deserved it (9.9876 out of 10 times, I do) and it didn’t last very long because my sweet, precious wife forgave me quickly and mercifully.

DISCLAIMER #2 — This post is intended for two distinct audiences: men and women.  To the men, be helped.  To the women, be amused.  To both, enjoy!

Gentlemen, we’ve all been there—the doghouse.  Sigh.

Some of us, fortunately, have not spent a great deal of time there.  For others, however, the doghouse has become a place of nearly permanent residence.  I don’t what you may have done to get there.  It’s not that important.  What’s important is that you get out—learn from your mistakes and get the heck out of there.

Here are ten simple words of wisdom for the man who finds himself in the doghouse.

1. Be Quiet—No, you don’t have to talk about it.  When she’s ready, she’ll talk and then you’re out.
2. Be Sweet—Never, ever, ever believe the lie that you can make your own doghouse and turn this thing around.  Just stay put and be sweet.
3. Be Helpful—Do stuff.  Wash, fold, and put away clothes.  Tidy up the kitchen.  Make the bed.  Even if it seems like its not working, it is.  You’ve just got to believe.
4. Be Holy—The doghouse is a great place to seek God.  Pray for your marriage.  Read the Bible.  Make sure to get your priorities straight.  “Seek first the kingdom…” (Matt. 6:33)
5. Be Smart—Don’t do anything stupid.  The doghouse can be a crazy place.  As such, it can cause you to do some crazy stuff. Don’t, though.  Be smart.  Resist.
6. Be Quick—to apologize and admit wrongdoing.  You are in the doghouse.  You probably did something wrong.  Even if you don’t know what it is, apologize!
7. Be Patient—It’ll happen.  You’ll get out of that place soon enough.  Your wife loves you, she’s just mad.  Patience is a virtue, right?  So be virtuous.
8. Be Ready—You’re wife will let out of the doghouse.  I’ve seen it with my own two eyes.  It really happens!  When it does, be ready.  Don’t let your hurt feelings and defensive nature keep you from getting out when she’s ready.
9. Be Sorry—If you did something wrong (and you probably did), don’t let the fact that you’re in the doghouse and mad about it keep you from being remorseful for what you did.  Apologize.  Seriously.
10. Be Open—Try and get outside of your own thoughts.  Don’t limit your perspective just because you’re upset.  Maybe when you see things from her perspective you’ll understand why you’re in the doghouse.